Le/La Courage Du Wannabe Blogger
I am feeling tempestuously motivated to post. I studied the WP Dashboard today, using my high-powered trifocal lenses. I was unprepared for some of the statistical information blighting my blog as caterpillar poop might blight a rose petal. It seems statistically obvious that my ratio of spam to post is deplorable. In fact, I had to use my Texas Instrument Calculator to verify that the ratio is 853,251.9711:1.01. This is not good. I thought I was making heroic efforts to beat out the blog posts. However, before I impetuously rant&roll, I must – scusa – first develop a necessary Post Playlist. 
1. For the blogging novitiate, the Post Playlist is often overlooked as a source of motivational mojo necessary for the grinding of metal keyboards while pounding out of a post. In this case, I seek songs with a forcefully driving beat and proficiently sufficient guitar solos to ensure that writing does not lose passionate pulsations as I rant about the omnipresent potency of Le/La/LahLahSpamm. 
2. If I wished to write a more gentle post, I would retreat to the Waterfall Room, located in the SES sector of Le Chateau, situated on acres and hectares of land bordering the mountains, some lakes and a glacier. The Waterfall Room is a room of saintly serenity designed by four German engineers we held hostage, er, guests. We located them in the Back 39 of the property feeding the polo ponies bratwurst and cabbage pies. There is a sign which clearly states, ‘Do Not Feed Polo Ponies Pies.’ Whilst the engineers were guests we requested they design and build a waterfall room. Now with a flick of a remote the sounds of water tinkle, sprinkle, rush or roar. I believe this is where the ponies are sequestered this evening. For American readers, I apologize for use of the term: sequestered. Absolutely no offence is intended. However: the playlist. 
3. I believe a strong opening is required. Let us put on our air guitar scarves, jammies and slippers and begin the blast with Canada’s rock anthem, American Woman, which did reach Billboard’s Hot 100 in January of 1970. I was but a mere go-go booted babe back then. The song was written by Mr. Burton L. Cummings, born December 31, 1947 in Winnipeg, Manitoba. The song was born in a live jam in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. [Gotta love WikipediA lore.] Anyhoot. The song is ripe with potential to slay spammmers.
For example [With all necessary apologies to Mr. B.L. Cummings.]
[Sound of rock ‘uuhh]
Spam-o-cheena say get away
Spam-o-cheena lissen wut i say
Don’t come knocking’ round my blog
All those adds can hypnotizzzzeee
Spam-polah sparkle someone else’s eyes
[sound of forcefully driving rock beat]
There is a diverse discourse about American Woman and the obvious and hidden meanings. Let’s just say this is a 45 record of patriotism plus in favour of Canada. [2/a/]
2.a With no hint of criticism, I have to admit that these days I am partial to Mr. Lenny Kravitz’s version of American Woman. The performance at Rio, Brazil, 2011, gives any air guitarist ample time to beat that axe. However, when watching Mr. Kravitz, I just lay my guitar down and observe mastery; and, then sob wishing that my fingers did not resemble blocks of hardwood, [ 2.b]
2.b. I believe Devil’s Train début with AmWom, is a passable snack but début with a Guess Who song? Come on, there’s a few of us know the original. ‘scusa, a snare drum fell over onto a tub of ice cream. Who let the pet badger back in the Rock Anthem Room?
3. The second song? Well, I found the BTO album’s just a little too bouncy. Kinda easy to rework You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet, a tribute to when the cow bell held a huge instrumental presence in rock music. However, not this time Mr. R. Bachman, Mr. Turner and Mr. Overdrive (Just kidding re. the latter.]
4. No, for the second song, I have to haul out the hard rock power trio, Triumph. One view of Lay It On The Line – the performance of July 21, 1979, – is just chocked full of sentiment, stinging nettle guitar work and serious dude lyrics. Triumph was formed in 1975 in Mississauga, Ontario and is known for performances in heavy metal, progressive rock and, or course, Canadian rock. This song speaks to the soullessness of spam:
Same old story
all over again
You turn a blog
into an advert
This blog is mine
Go ahead, lay it on the line
Don’t waste my time
[Astonishing air guitar solo here.]
5. Third song? Gotta be Ms. Carol Pope, born August 6, 1950, outside of Manchester, England. She and Kevan Staples formed the Canadian band Rough Trade in Toronto, Canada in 1974. The song, All Touch, just screams a rant about spam-a-junk-o-lah.
I pushed the tense spam away from me-eeem
I pushed the tense spam away from me
The harsh links, spam going on
Like a razor blade on glass
All touch but no contact
Hit me like slap - all touch
[Grinding guitar work here.]
6. How to close out an evening without resorting to pharmaceuticals? Some West Coast talent? I think of Mr. Bon Jovi’s, It’s My Life. Yes, am aware Mr. Jon Bon Jovi was born in New Jersey on March 2, 1962. There is a supergreat version of the song with fighter pilot accompaniment at YouTub. I use the song to declare, It’s My Life.
it’s my blog
It’s now or never
Ain’t no spam-mer
Gonna live forever
I just wanna blog
When I’m alive
It’s my blog
My blog is like an open highway
[Superior air guitar moves here.]
7. Ah, last dance? Anything from The Last Waltz, a concert by the Canadian Rock Group, The Band, held on November 25, 2976 (American Thanksgiving) at the Winterland Ballroom in San Francisco, CA, USA. A mega-night of mega-Canadian talents. This was advertised as the end of The Band’s touring career. ‘scusa, gotta go and hear Ms. Joni Mitchell sing Coyote,
8. I ‘heart’ YouTub’s dedicated team of uploaders. Thanks for an evening of memories for The Playlist.
© S. Calliou, October 5, 2013 except for the artists’ original songs/lyrics, of course.
Please see the Daily Prompt for a mixtape, http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/06/daily-prompt-music-2/